Why Slowing Down Can Feel So Hard ...

We often talk about slowing down as though it should be easy.

You might have heard ...

Take a break.

Rest.

Switch off.

Just relax.

What if slowing down doesn't actually feel relaxing? What if the moment you stop, your mind becomes busier? You start thinking about everything you haven't done, your body feels restless, you reach for your phone, you suddenly remember the washing, the email you haven't answered or the conversation you need to have.

For some people, doing can feel much easier than simply being ... and that is what I want to talk about today.

We can become very good at pushing through ...

There was a time when I saw tiredness as something to push through.

There were things to do, people who needed me and responsibilities that weren't going anywhere. I don't think I'm alone in that.

Many of us become incredibly capable at getting on with things.

We work, we care for people, we solve problems, or we move from one thing to the next.

Sometimes we're so accustomed to operating this way that we don'y even realise how much we're carrying until we finally stop.

Stress isn't only something we experience in our thoughts, our bodies respond too. During a stress response, heart rate and breathing can increase and muscles can tense. When stress becomes prolonged, those responses can affect both our physical and psychological wellbeing.

We might notice tight shoulders, a clenched jaw, difficulty sleeping, irritability, feeling overwhelmed, difficulty concentrating, or simply that sense that we are always 'on.' 

Sometimes the body has been communicating with us long before we've had the space to listen.

So why can stopping feel uncomfortable? ...

Slowing down doesn't necessarily mean our internal world immediately becomes quiet,

sometimes it's quite the opposite. When the distractions disappear, we may become more aware of our thoughts, feelings and physical sensations.

For someone experiencing anxiety, chronic stress or the effects of difficult or traumatic experiences, stillness may not automatically feel comfortable or safe, and that is really important.

We don't need to make relaxation another thing we're supposed to be good at.

There isn't a correct way to slow down. For one person, stillness might feel wonderful. For another, movement might feel better.

Someone might find calm walking beside the ocean, whereas another person might find it in gardening, talking to someone they trust, sitting outside with a cuppa, or taking three quiet minutes before everyone else wakes up (I'm a fan of this one).

There isn't one pathway that works for everyone.

This is one of the things I love about Yin Yoga ...

From the outside, Yin can look like we're doing very little.

We come towards the floor, we support our body, we stay in poses for longer periods and

we become quieter. But underneath that apparent stillness, we're practicing something that many of us do not make much time for.

NOTICING.

What does my body feel like today?

What's happening with my breath?

Where am I holding tension?

What thoughts keep appearing?

Can I notice what's here without immediately judging it, fixing it or needing it to be different?

Yin yoga is one of several mind-body practices that may help counter aspects of the body's stress response, alongside approaches such as breathing practices, meditation and tai chi. But no single approach is right for everybody, and none needs to be treated as a cure-all.

For me, that's an important distinction.

Yin isn't about forcing ourselves to relax.

It's about creating an opportunity to notice, then sometimes we can move deeper into the pose, and sometimes we don't, and both are okay.

You will hear me say in my Yin class ... 'it's always your empowered choice.'

Slowing down doesn't have to mean stopping ...

I think this is where we can broaden the conversation.

Slowing down might simply mean becoming a little more present in something we're already doing.

Taking the walk without answering emails, actually tasting the coffee, putting the phone down while someone is talking to us (notice how the other person responds when you do that), noticing the warmth of the sun on our face (I did this yesterday!), taking a breath before responding, or allowing ourselves to say, 'I'm tired.'

Breathing and relaxation practices can help some people reduce physiological arousal associated with stress, and even a few minutes of gentle breathing can be incorporated into everyday life.

Perhaps the starting point isn't ...'how do I make myself relax?'

Maybe it's simply ... 'what do I notice when I give myself permission to slow down?'

Perhaps we don't need to earn rest ...

We live in a culture that can place enormous value on productivity.

How much did you get done?

How busy are you?

What's next?

I hear this all the time.

Rest can almost become the reward we receive once everything else is finished, except everything is rarely finished.

There will always be another email, another load of washing, another person who needs something, another job, another tomorrow (please remember that one).

Maybe slowing down isn't something we have to earn after we've done enough.

Maybe it's simply part of being human, and perhaps that's the invitation.

It's not about completely changing our lives. Not to suddenly become wonderful at resting, but to begin noticing the moments when our body might be quietly asking us for something different. That is the superpower.

A little space, a little softness, a little less doing ... and perhaps, every now and then, permission simply to BE.

With love + gratitude

Jodhi x